MY BLOG
'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID OVER LOCKDOWN.'
Well actually you don't, but I'm about to tell you. Not a lot. Ok, that's not strictly true. Once I'd got over the shock of being confined to barracks for an uncertain period of time, I rather enjoyed the four months off.
There was much merriment to be had watching comedy on BBC IPlayer. Specifically, "The Thick of It," starring Peter Capaldi. I laughed my head off. Some of the one - liners, actually, ALL of the one - liners were hysterically funny. My particular favourite was Peter Capaldi, (aka Iago with a Blackberry) about to answer his mobile phone, says, "Incoming body parts."
Anyhow, if you have never watched "The Thick of It," I thoroughly recommend it to you. The acting is outstanding, the plots riveting and the dialogue so cleverly put together, it really is the complete comedy package.
Reading took up some of my time. I re-read, "One Fifth Avenue" by Candace Bushnell, author of "Sex and the City." Like the latter, the former is also set in the New York borough of Manhattan and focuses on a group of individuals who inhabit an apartment building in Fifth Avenue and whose lives become entwined in a sparkling adventure of drama, romance and social climbing.
"One Fifth Avenue," really is a wonderful book and Bushnell's characters are very believable and diverse in nature. Her description of the Manhattan area of Washington Square where they reside is very vivid. I say this with confidence because I know that particular area of New York City very well. If reading intelligent fiction is your thing, "One Fifth Avenue," won't disappoint you.
Sunbathing was on my agenda for a while although it is not generally something I subscribe to. My friend and I hit the beach as lockdown was raised and we partook of sea swimming and sunbathing. It was lovely I must admit and I have a nice tan now. The first one for a few years.
So there you have it. I was determined to enjoy myself during the four month break from work...and I did. I learned something too...that freedom of movement is not something to be taken for granted. It is precious and I hope never to lose it again. A bit like yourself, I suppose. And on that note, perhaps you'll join me in saying "aye," to that sentiment.
GEMMA - 31st July 2020
'HEROES, HARLOTS AND IMPERFECT STARLETS.'
I've been watching, of late, a couple of dramas on the BBC which prompted me to question the nature of humility - that is - how we view ourselves. And when we do look within ourselves, I wondered - how satisfied are we with what we see?
'Heroes' is currently streaming on BBCIplayer and examines a group of individuals with super - human powers. It is a sci-fi drama and is fascinating to the extent that none of the characters appear to be overly happy with these new - found talents. Which brings me on to 'Harlots,' a BBC drama set in 18th century London and focused on two rival brothels operating in an unforgiving world.
What struck me when I made the comparison between the characters of these fictions is that that those characters who knew who they were and where they had come from seemed vastly more content than those who didn't. For me, the 'Harlots, came out on top. No pun intended. But you will have to watch them both to make your mind up.
The point I am trying to make to make is this: That I really think we have to be happy with what we have and not seek to diminish ourselves if we don't match up to the perceptions of others.
We live in a world where the pursuit of perfection seems to be an obsession. I confess, I wish my legs were a little longer - but they are not. My idea of what constitutes beauty and perfection is probably different to yours.
But since you are asking, I will give you three women whom I consider beautiful and in addition, I will provide you with a quote about what they say about themselves. Here goes:
Helen Baxendale (Actress in 'Friends' and 'Cuckoo.') ' I've got a sharp nose, sticky - out cheekbones and little beedy eyes.'
Penelope Keith (Actress in 'The Good Life' and 'To The Manor Born.') 'I was very tall and very plain - I wasn't going to get very far on looks.'
And finally:
The actress Kate Winslett: ' I look like people that walk down the street. I don't have perfect boobs..I don't have zero cellulite..of course I don't - I'm curvy.'
So there you have it. I have to say that as I've got older, I have learned to accept my imperfections and the imperfections of men and women alike. I find beauty in them. I hope you can too.
Kate Winslett really does it for me. I saw her episode of 'Who Do You Think You Are?' When she was transported back to her childhood, famly home, a rented property in Berkshire, she stood outside the property, clad in jeans and sweater, completely devoid of make-up and uttered the following words to the presenter, 'I ain't posh mate.' I've never forgotten that. My kind of gal.
GEMMA - 18th September 2020.
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ONE "STRIKE" AND I'M IN.
I'm not sure why it passed me by. It's baffling really, because the whole world, it seemed, was consumed by Harry Potter fever. I'm talking, of course, about the mass excitement surrounding J.K.Rowling's books and movies on said subject.
Now, I'm going to let you in on a secret. My first degree is in English Literature. So naturally, I love books. Real ones. Not Kindle. I love the feel of them, the smell, the sound of the pages turning as I read them.
So why couldn't I get to grips with Harry Potter? I discovered this problem from the earliest stages of opening up one of J.K Rowling's books based on her super, sophisticated, adolescent wizard.
The reason was this. The characters names were so weird sounding to me, I couldn't remember them. And because I couldn't remember them, I couldn't follow the narrative - that is, the story. I have since described my inability to follow this narrative as, "The Harry Potter Effect." I think it is personal to me.
Fast forward to 2020 and J.K.Rowling's magnificent series for grown ups, "Strike," based on her novels under the pseudonym, Robert Galbraith. Awesome, totally enthralling. Starring Tom Burke and Holliday Grainger, this detective series focuses on two broken individuals, drawn together, working to solve crimes whilst endeavouring to work out issues in their private domains.
This is the story of the physical and emotional torment of our two main characters, Strike and Ellacott and how their issues intertwine with the cases they deal with.
Underlying these cases is the simmering will they won't they subplot. As an avid reader, the closest I ever got to Harry Potter was this: I walked past Dan Radcliffe on Broadway in Manhattan one day and said hi to him. He said hi back.
I used to be a one strike and you're out kind of girl. But then I found Rowling caters for grown - ups. So now I'm one ,"Strike," and I'm in.
GEM OCTOBER 2020.
Stan and Ollie.
"Between The Lines."
Are you watching it? "Line of Duty." If you're not, I recommend you do so. AC12 have become a national institution of sorts. But they are not the first.
CIB supersedes. Tony Clarke et al, "Between The Lines," is the forerunner to this current, brilliant series. Set in the 1990's, "Between The Lines" is currently showing on BBC Iplayer and it's awesome. It's AC12 by a different name.
Starring Neil Pearson, Siobbhan Redmond, Tom Georgeson and Tony Doyle, the series investigates police corruption. It's the forerunner to the magnificent "Line of Duty" and includes appearances from a very young Daniel Craig and Ciara Hinds.
If "Line of Duty" is your thing, I'm sure you will enjoy it's 1990's equivalent. It's well worth a watch.
GEM - April 2021.
"The Power of Being Engaged."
Disconnection is an awful thing. And like many of you, I suffered from it during lockdown. Unable to see my clients and friends, people I love kept at a distance.
As lockdown has eased I've realised the importance of staying connected and have begun to appreciate the company of even the slightest acquaintance.
It dawned on me that engaging in conversation with the friendly lady in the supermarket was important to my weekly routine in the absence of more secure relationships.
Back at my health club, I realised that over the last two years, I've had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of numerous ladies and gents. I see them daily and although I don't know them intimately, engaging with them, chatting is a real joy to me.
Of course, I have my best friend and her hubby and they are a constant source of fun and joy but I have realised, of late, the importance of being engaged with a variety of folk.
I made a decision a long time ago, a good rule and it keeps me happy. I don't engage with anything or anybody who steals my joy. I heartily recommend it. With good people around you, raising your spirits, whatever their acquaintance, connection is important. Make the most of it.
GEM - May 2021
"Bottoms Up"
I love to laugh! And like many of you, during lockdown, watching comedy was an important part of keeping my spirits raised during what has been a dark chapter in the lives of so many of us.
And where would we be without our collection of old comedy videos, DVD's and YouTube to fuel our appetite for rib tickling humour?
Situation comedy, stand - up, slapstick... et al, we've all sought it out to alleviate the boredom and help put a smile on our faces when nothing else could do the trick.
Enter.. Richie and Eddie! For me at any rate. The late Rik Mayall and the ever present Ade Edmondson have brought joy to my eyes and ears since their early beginnings in "The Young Ones," but their comedy genius in "Bottom" really did it for me.
A combination of sitcom and slapstick which rivalled and sometimes, did seem to me, to draw on the recipe for comedy produced by Laurel and Hardy, Mayall and Edmondson drew on the hardships of the down and outs to create laughs.
And boy did I laugh! Two characters, so unmanageable, that Eddie resorts to eating "lard" from the fridge after a night out and Richie, in his vain attempt to keep the Halloween tradition, wears tights to go "trick or treating" in, only to foul them...twice!
Like Laurel and Hardy, Richie and Eddie were, for me, losers that we loved to love. They were on the fringes of society. Poor, unemployable and generally inept when it came to forming human relationships...apart from with each other. They were disconnected and surely products of a post - modern society.
But I'm not sure I can even label our era "post - modern" anymore. So how do we label it and why is the comedy that is "Bottom" still so endearing to me and many other during this cultural period?
I hesitate to answer in full except to say that over the last year and a half, we have all, at some stage, been up the creek without a paddle. Like Richie and Eddie, there have been no relationships, little food in the fridge and short of eating lard, there has been little more than an 'exploding carrot' to buoy us up.
It's all about to change I feel. What would Richie have said about lockdown? Well obviously, he would have said, "That's just effing marvellous isn't it?" Eddie would have opened his coat to reveal his "emergency pint of lager and minutures," taken a swig, shrugged his shoulders and said "lovely, lovely, lovely."
In the comedy club in the sky, I hope one day to meet the beautiful, talented Rik Mayall. He only needs to say six words to me..."That's a smashing blouse you're wearing.' That'll be quite enough. As for "Bottom'" enough said. I was never a fan of "Cheers," but I will ALWAYS say, "Bottoms Up.!"
Gemma July 2021.
Questions I am often asked.
Yikes! I get asked so many questions during the course of my job. You wouldn't believe it. I really don't know where to begin to be honest.
Everything from why did you become an escort to which is your favourite James Bond movie.
Well, let me answer a couple of the questions that I have recently been asked.
My favourite Bond movie? "Casino Royale." The remake that is.
My favourite James Bond? Pierce Brosnan.
Best Bond Girl? Eva Green and Sophie Marceau (Sorry joint first).
Anyhow, my tastes are eclectic. I like alsorts of things and alsorts of people. It's why I like my job, because I meet so many different kinds of people. I look forward to seeing some of you soon.
GEM.
To Flee or not to Flee....That is the Question
Well, I had planned it all, meticulously, like you do...a Christmas vacation in a secluded, country setting, complete with a roaring fire, huge tree and most importantly, a well stocked library!
It was an excellent arrangement by all accounts. After all, I'd set this finally tuned plan in motion at the end of last summer, following a most agreeable time spent in the New Forest.
A most agreeable time indeed, spent in the company of a group of people I had never met before but who have since become firm friends.
Alas, my plans were to change and I spent my Christmas holiday at home. However, all was not lost. Said, new friends from London were in regular touch and I received in the post, a book I had ordered for Christmas.
"A Christmas Carol," by Charles Dickens arrived on my doorstep in timely anticipation of my Yuletide celebrations. The book I had planned to read by the roaring fire of my New Forest retreat was delivered to my home address.
I have spent the festive period reading this wonderful book, one chapter at a time. It is a heartwarming piece of English literature.
I am so glad I remained at home this Christmas. In spite of the absence of my beautiful, new friends and in lieu of the expectant New Forest Christmas setting, I learned one thing...I can be perfectly happy at home with simple pleasures.
And what greater pleasure than a good book and the prospect of being in the society of new friends next year.
So you find me content, gents. Happy with simple pleasures in life. I hope you all find contentment in 2022, whatever you do.
GEM
"Is The Grass Always Greener?"
I have, of late, been drawn to all things green. That is to say, I've been taking a keen interest in nature, wildlife and the natural world.
I think perhaps I was drawn to this during lockdown, when the visual, the sight of all things beautiful outdoors became inaccessible for me as it did for you.
In the absence of real world communication with parks and walks in the country, I relied on the wildlife in my back garden to help me stay connected to nature.
And I am fortunate in that respect. A robin or two, the odd fox, blackbirds, finches, all graced me with their presence.
Lest we forget, there was always the BBC to rely upon for "Detectorists" "This Country" and "Worzel Gummidge." And I kid you not - these brilliant and charming series filled the gap for me when the physical pursuit of nature was prohibited!
And now that we have returned to some kind of normality? I have been asking myself if I could ever live a simpler life, a quieter life in a rural community. Some of my clients live precisely like this.
The answer is yes. I really could envisage a simple, quiet life. Obviously, as a long time lover of sports cars I would still like to keep my sports car in the driveway for emergencies until I can progress to a bicycle with a wicker basket.
On the whole, to wake up to village life, for me, would be absolutely charming. A small cottage with room for a good bookcase and an open fire. What more could I want?
So, there we have it. I believe that the grass could definitely be greener on the other side for me. I live in hope.
GEM
Wilde Thing!
....you make my heart sing..you make everything...well, actually not quite so groovy!
As promised, I deliver my assessment of "The Happy Prince" and sadly it did not live up to my expectations.
Having soaked up, digested and thoroughly engorged myself on Stephen Fry's "Wilde," a number of years ago, I was rather looking forward to Rupert Everett's outing as Oscar Wilde in "The Happy Prince."
But it did not deliver. In all fairness, one can't compare the narrative of the two movies because Fry's portrayal deals with the writer up to the period of his incarceration in Reading jail, whereas Everett's movie is concerned with Wilde's life on his release and subsequent exile in France. Having said that, I found Everett's narrative disjointed and had I not known the outcome of Wilde's demise, I would have been left feeling slightly confused.
So what did I found wanting in "The Happy Prince?" Well, it seemed to me that Everett didn't capture Wilde's literary brilliance but focused mainly on his debauchery. It was almost as if the writer himself had not existed, the flashbacks to his glory days so few and far between. Moreover, I felt that the supporting cast, ie Colin Firth, Emily Watson lacked depth and conviction.
I expected more from the performance of the wonderful Colin Morgan as Lord Alfred, "Bosie" Douglas but in all fairness he wasn't given much to "chew on" in my opinion. Jude Law's "Bosie" in Fry's "Wilde" was afforded a much more central role and carried it with a poise and sophistication sadly lacking in Morgan's portrayal.
Don't even get me started on Edwin Thomas as Robbie Ross. Compared with Michael Sheen in Fry's "Wilde," there is simply no comparison.
So there you have it. I think Everett's movie, "The Happy Prince " was probably a real labour of love for him. But Fry's "Wilde" was never going to be touchable.
For me, Fry's portrayal of Oscar Wilde is definitive and the supporting cast in that movie...well, it's unbeatable really.
As for "The Happy Prince," the greatest joy for me was watching the beautiful, seductive, Colin Morgan as "Bosie" Douglas who, quite frankly was given way too less a role in this movie. For me, he was the real star and talent, who, had he been allowed to shine, would have lifted this biography from the doldrums into the light. Sadly, it was not meant to be.
Oscar Wilde and "Bosie Douglas" were bound in life with "the love that dare not speak its name." 'Lord Alfred, "Bosie" Douglas died penniless in 1945. Oscar died in 1905.
In 2017, Oscar Wilde was pardoned for his crimes.
Our New King and My Little Piece of History.
Friday 9th September 2022 - Hello everybody. Like you, I am mourning the loss of our Queen and, as such, will not be available today for work.
It is a sad day for us all. There is, however, something I want to share with you about our new King.
Back in 1997 when, as he was then, Prince Charles, I wrote a letter to him, the contents of which I shall keep to myself.
I was married at the time and I distinctly remember my dear, departed, ex father in law chuckling to himself that I had sent our future King a letter, sending him my good wishes and support during those dark days of his life.
But my ex father in law didn't chuckle for long. Reason being, I received the most amazing, gracious response from Prince Charles from Kensington Palace via his Private Secretary, thanking me for the thoughts I'd expressed in my letter to him.
I have this Royal letter amongst my private papers and I shall cherish it as long as I live. Well you would wouldn't you? I am in possession of a little piece of history. Suffice to say, I believe Charles to be a man of the people. God rest our Beloved Queen and long live King Charles lll. - Gem.
My other Blogs.
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